I want a sexy little convertible! And I want to buy one, right now!

Gabrielle: Why are all rich men such jerks?
Carlos: The same reason why all beautiful women are bitches.

The way I see it is that good friends support each other after something bad has happened, great friends act as if nothing has happened.

Love isn't enough. Where would we live? Here? With your roommates? The only decoration in the bathroom is a bong!

The only person more self-centred than me is Carlos; he's so self-centred he doesn't even know how self-centred I am.

I feel a wave of morning sickness coming on, and I want to be standing on your mother's grave when it hits.

We're not negotiating my uterus.

Gabrielle: Hey! Cocktails? Nobody called me?
Susan: It was spur-of-the-moment. We're numbing the pain of our miserable lives.
Gabrielle: Oh. Well, I was trying to do that with exercise, but why risk the heart attack? Make mine a double!

Carlos: You wanna wash my shorts?
Gabrielle: I don't want to, but if you wear them one more time, they're gonna ask me themselves.

Xiao-Mei: You are meanest person I know!
Gabrielle: I am THE meanest person you know. You've been in this country a year, modify your nouns, dammit.

Carlos: Beating up a second gay guy looks bad.
Gabrielle: Yes, well, Carlos, in some circles, beating people up at all is frowned upon.

Gabrielle: Breakfast is served. Get em' their hot!
Victor Lang: Marry me?
Gabrielle: They're only toaster waffles.